As the hours of light begin to expand each day, the cobwebs in my brain are beginning to clear, and the energy required for productivity is returning, slowly, but surely. The winter has provided the womb for contemplation, for endless hours of rumination..."What is next, what must I do now, what is expected of me, what is my purpose in life now?"........ The quiet and darkness were the necessary and fertile ground that nurtured the process of grieving for my lost life, and the awareness that, while my old life was gone, a new life lay ahead, full of possibilities.
With the increasing light and energy comes the desire to move, to stir, to change things up a bit. A quick glance in the mirror screams "Haircut, trim, clean-up needed- Help!" and I am shaken from the complacency that weeks on the couch enable. Time to do something different, but that "different" has not yet become clear. (This might be a great time for a winter make-over- a day at the spa might work wonders, with a European facial to clear away the dead skin, a massage to invigorate the muscles that have been unused for weeks, a haircut and style to lift the spirits and appearance, and a mani-pedi to clear the cuticles and bring new blood to the extremities.)
What HAS become clear is that I am no longer content or satisfied with the way things are today. Yes, I have worked a little at a time to clean out closets, drawers, and bookshelves. Yes, I have looked into alternative living arrangements. Stay here? Move to a condo? Move to Florida? And yes, I HAVE inserted the "20 Minute Power Workout" dvd into the computer more than once. But I am sensing that I need to choose to deliberately move in a positive direction, to take a deliberate bite, as Persephone did, out of that pomegranate seed, the SEED OF CHANGE, in order to transition from now and here to the new wherever and whatever that my life is to embrace.
The coming weeks and months are likely to be like Alice's rabbit hole, but in reverse- that passageway from the known and comfortable to the unknown, the unknowable, but the eventual and necessary next step. Was this a hesitation that my lovely heroine, Persephone, experienced before she took the bite of the juicy pomegranate seed? Did she consider the rigors of the passageway that lay ahead as she realized she would no longer be the immortal goddess of youth, but instead, a real woman, growing older, growing in wisdom, growing toward a return to the source of her being?
With the increasing light and energy comes the desire to move, to stir, to change things up a bit. A quick glance in the mirror screams "Haircut, trim, clean-up needed- Help!" and I am shaken from the complacency that weeks on the couch enable. Time to do something different, but that "different" has not yet become clear. (This might be a great time for a winter make-over- a day at the spa might work wonders, with a European facial to clear away the dead skin, a massage to invigorate the muscles that have been unused for weeks, a haircut and style to lift the spirits and appearance, and a mani-pedi to clear the cuticles and bring new blood to the extremities.)
What HAS become clear is that I am no longer content or satisfied with the way things are today. Yes, I have worked a little at a time to clean out closets, drawers, and bookshelves. Yes, I have looked into alternative living arrangements. Stay here? Move to a condo? Move to Florida? And yes, I HAVE inserted the "20 Minute Power Workout" dvd into the computer more than once. But I am sensing that I need to choose to deliberately move in a positive direction, to take a deliberate bite, as Persephone did, out of that pomegranate seed, the SEED OF CHANGE, in order to transition from now and here to the new wherever and whatever that my life is to embrace.
The coming weeks and months are likely to be like Alice's rabbit hole, but in reverse- that passageway from the known and comfortable to the unknown, the unknowable, but the eventual and necessary next step. Was this a hesitation that my lovely heroine, Persephone, experienced before she took the bite of the juicy pomegranate seed? Did she consider the rigors of the passageway that lay ahead as she realized she would no longer be the immortal goddess of youth, but instead, a real woman, growing older, growing in wisdom, growing toward a return to the source of her being?
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